I hate you.
Like really, REALLY hate you.
Not only have you not done what you were intended to do but over the last three months of our quality time together..
* I’ve gotten spots.. For the first time in years. Loads of them. Little ones, big ones, painful ones. Not cool.
* I’ve gained weight. Like.. I look at a broccoli and gain 6lbs.
* At a certain point in my “cycle” (it’s in speech marks because it’s not a real cycle.. Not really) my ibs is excrutiating. Like right now; I’m currently sat in bed with my hot water bottle having taken everything I possibly can to ease the pain. Which hasn’t worked. I haven’t suffered with ibs like this for over two years.
* I cry on cue and I am not a crier. I’ve burst in to tears whilst driving, when on the loo, watching TV, reading a book and at a yoga class to name just a few..
* oh and because I’m currently a huge, spotty, sobbing mess of a whale in quite a lot of pain, sex isn’t all that appealing..
Ohh but the real kicker.. Despite all these joyous side effects you know what isn’t happening?
I’M NOT OVULATING!!!
So, I’ve decided. Clomid, you have been one of the worst experiences of my life and this relationship is over.