So as promised I’ll summarise what happened in our first IVF appointment.
M and I were shown into a room, sat down and told that this was likely to take over an hour (blimey!) and she wasn’t wrong.
Before attending we each had to fill out what felt like a application to MI5 so she quickly checked those and then got to it.
We were shown a diagram of the female anatomy (vagina, cervix, womb, ovaries) which was used to draw lots and lots of thing on throughout the meeting.. Follicles and eggs mostly! Which is funny because apparantly I don’t have many of those left so she was probably a bit generous.
She explained how the whole process worked and how many eggs they would expect the harvest from me. Doesn’t that sound awful.. Harvest eggs. From a human. And because I have a low egg reserve the number expected from me is fewer than it might be from someone with a “normal” reserve.
At some point during this explanation she dropped the small (not small at all really.. Pretty f*#&ING massive to be honest) bombshell that we would only be entitled to one round and not the two we were expecting. This was just due to where we lived. Now that was obviously pretty gutting in itself but when she went on to explain more I realised how serious that was. And this really was where it got serious for me. I think I’d been in denial and totally not accepting of this situation but having her talk about it in such detail meant I couldn’t hide from it any longer.
Skipping past a lot of the detail we got to the embryo part. The embryo is what they “put back in you”. If I’m very lucky I’ll get 4 good fertilised embryos that can be used.. They’ll pop one in and freeze the others. Now this was the hard bit for me.. If we’re in the fortunate position that embryo number one works and we get a baby that’s their job done. We can’t then use the other embryos for a sibling unless we pay. We also have to pay to store the embryos. Maybe some people know that and I was just being a bit naive but I assumed you could use whatever they got. I mean.. They’ve done the hard bit; all they have to do is put it back in! And I know you’re probably thinking I’m getting ahead of myself wanting two before I’ve even got one but I’m just being honest about what was going through my head and when you’ve ALWAYS known you wanted a few children (That just having the one never even crossed your mind) it’s a shock. I think I was only really half present for the rest of the appointment and left in a bit of a daze. With an appointment to start the process in January.
So that’s it. Our brief overview. And I still don’t know how I feel. I know IVF is amazing and for some women it’s their only hope but I know there’s eggs in there and I technically CAN conceive naturally. If time was on my side I would research some more holistic approaches and just.. Wait a bit. (Yes, I don’t ovulate which I know is kind of imperative to the whole conceiving thing but miracles happen and I still have hope) However, due to my low egg reserve I’m on a bit of a ticking time bomb. Like I need to at least give IVF a shot while I I can so that they can get some eggs out while they’re still there.
So in short I don’t really have a choice.
Let’s do this.